NATE REVIEWS 02: The Greatest Remix Album of All Time

*sips coffee*
Hello again, I was hoping it would be at least a few months before I was forced to sit down and listen to another shameful collection of 'music' again but alas, here we are. This week on Nate Reviews we have 'The Greatest Remix Album Of All Time' from Dodge & Fuski.
Track 01: the intro. "This album is personally guaranteed by me to contain nothing but grade A certified neck breakers" - Samuel L. Jackson. Ok Sam, first of all calm the fuck down. I'll give you a call when I need help with snakes and planes or whatever it was you did for a living I honestly have no idea. Lets leave EDM to the experts (i.e. me)
Gentlemens Club kick things off with their remix of 'Back With A Vengeance'. I think 'Back With A-nother shitty dubstep album' would be a more fitting title. (get it, cuz the album is shit)
Next up we have Nasko. Hey Nasko, if you changed the N in your name to a B it would be basko. And then if you put 'Ta' in front if it you would be Tabasko. You are a hot sauce, enough said.
Chime coming in with the remix of 'Mistakes'. Hey Chime I thought you were supposed to be a melodic dubstep producer? This remix sounds like cat farts.
Track 5 sucks I'm not even gonna say what it is (Adair I'm looking at you)
Oliverse is on track 6 with a remix of 'Dog Eat Dog'. Oh wait hold on I'm getting a phone call...oh it's from Doctor P, he says he wants his presets from 2011 back *drops phone*
Track 7 is the only exception I will make on this album. To say that Barely Alive's remix of 'Silence Is Golden' is anything short of a masterpiece would be blasphemy. It's a shame it had to be squished between all of these embarrassments. 
'Exposure' is the title of Track 8 which is remixed by Samplifire. This remix reminds me of that time I listened to a shitty dubstep remix. Gee I wonder why.
Coming in for track 9 is MADGRRL's remix of 'Massacre'. First of all, change your name I don't enjoy having to hold down the shift key just to type out your fuckin DJ alias. Second, 4x4 drops are about as exciting as a bag of unsalted walnuts. Try again.
The remaining 4 remixes from Al Ross, Lektrique, Infekt and Oolacile might as well have been the same song. I actually didn't even realize I was listening to 4 separate remixes. Maybe because I fell asleep (LOL)
Yeah nah, hard pass from me on this one. I would say change the name to 'The Greatest Remix Attempts Of All Time' but that still wouldn't suffice. Do better next time I guess? IDK.