NATE REVIEWS 03: Barely Alive Multiplayer EP
I have to admit, Barely Alive are on to something here, getting a bunch of other producers to collab with you so you only have to write half an EP but still take all the credit is a genius move. It's kind of like buying a rotisserie chicken from Costco, bringing it home to your significant other for dinner and telling them you slaved away all day to make this delicious bird when really you just swiped your fucking VISA card.
Aside from impressive work-dodging tactics, it's safe to say even with all the help from other producers that this EP is a steamy pile of multi-colored dog poo. There are a total of 5 tracks, 4 of which are horrendously bad.
Let's get started.
Track 01 - Arsonist w/ PhaseOne and Virus Syndicate.
Oh woah it's dubstep? Dude how innovative.
Virus Syndicate: It'S ViRuS sYnDiCaTe
Also literally nobody:
PhaseOne: *fuckin dumb loud metal music guitar sounds*
Track 02: Bloodshed w/ MVRDA and Crichy Crich.
Holy CHRIST more dubstep, we're really getting somewhere here now fellas. I like how the songs called Bloodshed featuring a dude called MVRDA. Hey guys we live in 2 bedroom apartments in Los Angeles and make EDM ok chill out with the homicide shit. Moving on.
Track 03: Weed Haha w/ Bandlez and Rod Azlan.
Wow you guys got a rasta vocalist for a song about weed LOL how'd you think of that? Absolutely next level originality. Then again idk why I would expect anything different from the guys that are currently in prison for stealing another artists song name. Say hi to Jared from subway for me!
Track 04: Can't Hold Back w/ Samplifire.
You know what I can't hold back from? Turning my volume knob all the way to the left whenever this shit comes up on shuffle. Oh also more dubstep lmfao please guys stop my neck is already broken!!!!
*sips dumb fuck juice*
Track 05: Crankin w/ yours truly.
It's no wonder they put this absolute masterpiece at the end of the EP. Surely if they had put it before, anything that came after it would immediately be brought down to the bottom rung of disappointment by comparison. You can clearly tell that I produced the entire song. Honestly can't even really hear any BA influences throughout the whole track, but hey I'm alright with it, sometimes I like to help out the little guys you know? Didn't mind lending some of my genius to help the less fortunate w/ their little EP release. I don't consider myself a humanitarian but if the shoe fits I will gladly wear it. You're welcome guys!
Stay tuned for the next release where I literally shit on the floor and call it music.