ASK PAT 01: Really really good relationship advice


I can’t choose between two girls who want me. Both are equally as attractive but in different way. How do I decide? - Kyle 

Try and imagine if they both lost their hair in a unfortunate turn at the barbers. The one who you fancy more as a baldie... Pick that one.

There’s a girl I like but I can tell that the feelings towards each other aren’t mutual. How do I get out of the friend zone? - Austin 

Start acting less friendly... if she texts you like ... are your feelings different towards me now?  tell her she gives you a boner & you’ve been too shy to express it. Girls will either love that or hate it. It’s vulnerable position to put yourself in but hey... you gotta risk it for a biscuit. If it fails... plenty more girls to friend zone you.


After 6 years with Ryan (Oliverse) the most peace and quiet I got was when he was in LA/Canada with you all... how do I get him there more often? - Amy (Oliverse’s other half)

He’s mine now. Collect your things. I’ll see you in court. 

How do you stop your personal problems becoming your significant others problems? Is this wrong? - Christian

Yeah kinda. Other people are meant to support you, not mother you. This will eventually get tiring and she’ll break, if you care about the longevity of your relationship you’ll start projecting on other ppl and not her. Friends/ professionals etc good luck dude! 

What should I do if my girlfriend has been open about the fact that she wants to have sex with Tisoki more than me? - Quang

I would express my sexual interest in her friend or one of her close relatives and see how that one boiled her potatoes. This in an iron clad plan to wipe the smerk off anyone’s face. 

G’day! I want to continue having sex with a guy that clearly is my doppelgänger and when we’re getting it on, I can’t help but feel like I have a family member in bed with me. Should I stop? - Anonymous

Hey dude... I’m pretty sure incest porn is the hot ticket right now. you’re probably in good company with people that wanna fuck themselves. However If it bothers you, then that would be a no brainer. Simply, stop & find someone who doesn’t look like a relative 

How would someone determine if their relationship is holding them back from what they want and/or deserve in life? - Dylan

That’s a tough one. Without leaving that person and trying other things you’ve just gotta use your head & your intuition. If the thought of them moving on from you and bumping boots with other ppl doesn’t bother you... then I’m sure it’s safe to see what else life has to offer you. 

So i have a Girlfriend. We were a nice couple n' shit. I loved her, she loved me. But her parents thought i influenced her badly and they moved away from the country. Was i doing something wrong or it's just old-gen parents? - Daniel

Thing is, it could have been a whole manner of different things Daniel, but don’t sweat it my man. Sounds like she chose to stay with you and ignore her folks, just hold the reigns and be a man. Prove her folks wrong and they’ll buy you a swan ice sculpture at your wedding. 


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